One time Mike came home and said “Dr. Slowinski said I should appreciate you more. She says you are respectful of babies.”

I have mused on that statement since. I sincerely believe that babies should be treated as human beings – and I’ve got research behind me on that. You may laugh, but here are some amazing facts about newborns, and the dates when “the research” told us they were true.

Babies know who their moms are.

Back in the 1980’s we were often told our babies couldn’t see us, didn’t know who we were, and didn’t prefer us to other people. Really, they were hardly even human beings. It took the research a while to get out to the public – but researchers say there was a “major theoretical shift” that happened around 1970. Part of this was due to Harry Harlow and his horrific studies on baby monkeys. (It’s thought that the Animal Rights movement owes its start to Harry Harlow too – these were the little monkeys that were given wire “mothers” who fed them or soft, fuzzy mothers who starved them. The babies would choose to starve of food because they need the soft and fuzzy so badly.)

Babies know their own mom’s smell.

MacFarlane did these “olfaction” studies in the early 1970’s. He placed a small pad that a mom had worn and one from another mom near a newborn – and the newborn would reliably turn toward the smell of their own mother. This was published in 1975. It was considered amazing when I had my first baby in 1981 – many people didn’t believe it.

Babies know the voices of their moms and dads.

And they will preferentially turn towards those voices – not the voice of any nurse or doctor. (Not even the lactation consultant!) T.Berry Brazelton of Boston – one of the pediatricians who changed the face of parenting in the 1970’s and beyond – published information about this for the general public in 1974. DeCasper and Fifer did more research on this in 1980.

Newborns prefer their mother’s face.

This was published in 1989 by Bushneil, Sai and Mullin. They found that this was true at 12- 35 hours of life! (We see this in the Birthing Center every day, when babies and mothers stare transfixed at each other. Dads do it too – it just hasn’t been studied that I know of.) If you’d like to read about this go to http://infantlab.fiu.edu/Articles/Bushnell%202001.pdf

Babies know their own mother’s nipples.

Porter and Winberg worked on this one in 1999. There are special glands on the areola – Montgomery’s tubercles – that exude special antiseptic oil that cleans the breast area. Apparently this helps the baby find the breast, because it smells like the amniotic fluid that the baby knows as home! Watch babies looking for the right spot at http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

Next time we’ll look at some of the “hardwiring” babies come with. They have personalities even in the womb!

YOU ARE BEING TRANSFORMED INTO A MOTHER.

People don’t like to talk about that. Don’t get so focused on labor and birth that you forget this incredibly important fact. Pregnancy is a time of opportunity: Give yourself permission to be good to yourself and be amazed at the growth that will come. Find a pregnancy mentor – an experienced mother whom you respect, that will answer questions and encourage you to grow.

Learn to say NO.

If you don’t do it and it doesn’t get done, does it matter? “I’m giving all my energy to this little being inside of me and I just don’t have any energy left over right now. I have to say no.”

• Make a list of everything you have to do, then cross off everything you can possibly put off or avoid until tomorrow.
• Do only what is absolutely necessary.
• Investigate the shoulds in your life. Look at them hard.
• Nurture yourself now – you’re growing into a mother. You may not have time later!

Learn to say YES.

• To really truly enjoy your pregnancy, what would you like to do?
• Are you doing it or will you do it? For even five minutes?
• When you contemplate the phrase “being good to myself during pregnancy” what occurs to you? (Exercise. Sleep.
• Turning off TV. Sleep. Eat veggies and whole grains. Eat ice cream. Sleep.)

Listen to your body. Look for bodily reactions to clue you in. Do you feel sick when you think about going to your cousin’s house for Sunday dinner? Do you feel energized even before your prenatal exercise class? Is time on your feet at work making everything ache and swell? Listen to what your body is telling you.

AFFIRM YOUR LIFE CHANGES

When you take your prenatal vitamin, tell yourself, It is an honor for me to be a mother. Or, I am a mother in my own unique way. Or, My body knows how to birth this baby, just like it knows how to grow this baby.

When your baby kicks take a moment to think of something you have done recently you are proud of and heartily congratulate yourself.

When you exercise – take a moment to praise your body, especially if you’re feeling uncoordinated or fat. Visualize increased oxygen flowing to the placenta and the baby.

Before or after prenatal appointments do something special for you. Sit in the shade and eat frozen yogurt. Go to the CoOp and get a cup of hot chocolate. Buy a new maternity outfit. Browse in the bookstore. Get a pedicure or a massage.

When you are struck by a minor discomfort (like a burp of indigestion or a baby kick in the ribs) – ask, When is the last time I did something nourishing for myself?

Take a mini-relaxation break when you pee – consciously relax your shoulder and jaw, close your eyes. Inhale deeply (unless you are in a stinky bathroom!), and say silently to yourself a centering word – peace, chocolate, whatever. Exhale through your mouth. Repeat until you are ready to vacate your throne! Do your kegels as your wash your hands. Then return to your world strong and focused.

Transformation. Strength. Focus.

That’s how you prepare for motherhood.

It sure didn’t happen for me with my first baby.

Now, looking back through the lens of all the education and research and studying and work with new moms that I’ve done since that first baby made her appearance (thank you Phoebe, I’m sorry I thought of you as my little froggie), I know that I am not alone.

There are examples I can think of, right off the top of my head.

• A mother was looking forward to having a girl, and when her first baby was a boy she was totally blown out of the water. She didn’t even want to hold him. Or do anything for him. For a couple of days.
• The mother was in terrible pain as she gave birth, and needed what we call “extensive repairs” – lots of stitches. She was so shell-shocked by the whole experience – the baby needed help breathing and a quick check by the pediatrician too. Once the baby was okay the mom said she wasn’t ready to hold the baby yet – for hours. (BTW – did you know that “shell-shocked” is the old term for PTSD?)
• A family had a child with lots of physical and developmental problems. When her next baby was born, she told the doctor to give the baby to the dad. She pushed out the placenta, got washed up a bit by the nurse, then brushed her hair and put on her makeup. Meanwhile the dad was telling her, “It’s okay, this is not last time…this baby is just fine.” Finally she asked Dad for the baby, then turned to me and said, “I just need to get my wits about me before I meet her for the first time.”

All of these women became really wonderful moms – I know, I saw them later interacting with those kids! But we need to realize that sometimes it takes a while for your real baby to merge with your dream baby….to process our birth experiences….sometimes to grieve our birth experiences….And sometimes a little sleep and a little TLC!

Marshall Klaus, a respected neonatologist and observer of moms and newborns, suggests that as many as 30% of moms do not immediately fall in love with their babies. Moms who experienced difficult births or babies who had a surprise come with them (needing a resuscitation, a baby with a birth defect, a baby whose heart rate did funky things during the birth) have a harder time.

Reva Rubin was a nurse researcher and theorist, back before nurses did much researching and theorizing! (Well actually, Florence Nightingale was a theorist – her big theory was, “keep the environment clean and bright and everyone will get better faster.” Works for me. )

In 1961, she published an article in Nursing Outlook that articulated what she saw in the hospital with new moms, in that early postpartum period. She described three phases of new motherhood:

1. Taking-in: Rubin suggested this period would last 2-3 days. The mom would be preoccupied with her own needs, would need to “take-in” the fact that she was no longer pregnant, and would need to talk through her birth experience. (Note that we send most moms home from The Birthing Center before Rubin’s Taking-in period is over.)
2. Taking-hold: As mom’s needs are met, she assumes responsibility for her newborn. This is the time when a mom is able to learn about baby care. (When I walk into a room and say, “let me cue up the DVD for you” I just laugh on my way out. The mom is gazing at the baby and I know she could care less about The Happiest Baby on the Block!)
3. Letting-go: Rubin suggests that once moms get to around five weeks, they let go of their old, non-mother self, and “let themselves go” when it comes to loving this new baby. I suppose a new mother with a seventh baby would let go of her image of herself as mom of six and take on Mom of Seven!

What were those early days and weeks like for you? Did you fall immediately in love with your baby? Did it take a while? I’d love to hear your stories….

It’s all so confusing! And most of us have an opinion. Usually one of the following:

• You will never catch my kid with a pacifier.
• You will never catch my kid sucking their thumb
• Don’t let that baby use you as a pacifier

Here’s what the World Health Organization says about pacifiers for breastfed newborns in the hospital:

GUIDELINE: Health professionals, including nursery staff, should educate all breastfeeding mothers about how the use of pacifiers may interfere with the development of optimal breastfeeding. Breastfeeding babies should not be given pacifiers by the staff …When a mother requests that her breastfeeding baby be given a pacifier, the health care staff should explore the reasons for this request, address the concerns raised, educate her on the possible consequences to the success of breastfeeding, and discuss alternative methods for soothing her baby. If the breastfeeding mother still requests a pacifier, the process of counseling and education and informed decision should be documented.

The main reason moms seem to use pacifiers in the hospital? It’s late, the baby has been on the breast for hours, and mom and dad are really tired. Why not just use a pacifier to get the baby to sleep?

It’s pretty clear in the research that WHO cites, that using a pacifier in the early days can sabotage breastfeeding because mom doesn’t get a good handle on how to breastfeed, basically ignores baby’s feeding cues, and if she isn’t nursing when the baby cues may miss feeds, leading to higher bilirubin levels and/or frantic kids, along with engorgement for mom.

On the other hand, a hospital in Ohio recently found that their exclusive breastfeeding rate went DOWN when they stopped giving out pacifiers!

Pacifiers are popular here in southeastern Vermont. I had a mom show me a collection that she had been given at her shower (they were wrapped in the bows), wondering which one was best for her baby. There’s no evidence that one is “better” than another, although one piece pacifiers are probably safer as they don’t come apart. (Babies have choked on the two piece ones.)

Pacifier use is such a cultural issue that it can be hard to deal with. For example – we have pet names for pacifiers! Is it a binky? A nunny? A passi? (Check out 160 pet names for the pacifier)

Here at The Birthing Center we do have pacifier education cards that state the case for being careful with pacifier use in the early days of breastfeeding.

• Begin with a good milk supply: get breastfeeding off to a good start before using a pacifier. Nursing well today means lots of milk tomorrow.
• Ask for help from a nurse or breastfeeding specialist if you think your baby is not nursing well, wants to nurse too much, your nipples hurt, or you just plain want help! We have tips to make nursing easy and comfortable.
• Breast is best; offer breast for comfort and food in the early days. Don’t use the pacifier to put off a feeding. The act of sucking on the pacifier releases a hormone that makes baby sleepy – but s/he is still hungry.
• You are the best comfort for baby. In case you cannot feed right away (driving, working, etc) always offer the breast as soon as possible in case baby is hungry.

A couple of other things have come up lately, most particularly that babies can get pretty sick from the bacteria (over forty kinds!) and resulting bio-films on pacifiers. You can see what some of the research looks like at Are Binkies Making Babies Sick? It’s a good idea to run the pacifier through your dishwasher regularly if you choose to use one.

What does the American Academy of Pediatrics have to say?

“The AAP does not support a categorical ban on pacifiers due to their role in SIDS risk reduction and their analgesic benefit during painful procedures when breastfeeding cannot provide the analgesia. Pacifier use in the hospital in the neonatal period should be limited to specific medical indications such as pain reduction, calming in a drug exposed infant etc. Mothers of healthy term breastfed infants should be instructed to delay pacifier use until breastfeeding is well-established usually about 3 – 4 weeks after birth. “ (You can read more at Pacifiers: Satisfying Your Baby’s Needs)

So what about “using you as a pacifier?”

Well, if you think about what life was like for humans as a species for about the first gazillion years or so, the baby didn’t have much choice. It was mom or a thumb. And if you didn’t want your baby eaten by a wild animal, either you or a relative or friend held the baby all the time. The breast(yours or somebody else’s!) was easy-access. Probably the sharpest retort to this is “don’t let that baby use the pacifier as mother”!

Babies need just the kind of twenty-four hour stimulation that mothers provide best. Food, touch, talking – all the things we need to become real human beings. In the beginning sucking is a part of what we need to grow and mature. Pacifiers were pretty much invented when formula/bottle feeding became more popular, because you can’t let a baby suck on an empty bottle, and you can’t give non-stop formula in a bottle. (Your baby would just throw up.) A pacifier worked pretty well to keep the baby from overeating.

So don’t be afraid to be your baby’s mama – loving, soothing, sucking and all. And if you choose to use a pacifier, use it wisely, and, as always when somebody gives you advice you didn’t want, just smile and say thanks.

Because if there’s this much controversy and this many different ways to do it “the right way” – you can do whatever you want and things will probably be fine.

Prepare Your Mind

Sounds funny, but the first thing to do is think about why you have decided to have a waterbirth. Is it something you are doing for yourself, or because someone expects you to? Are you strongly drawn to the idea of labor and birth in water? Can you see yourself in that tub, feeling comfortable, strong and confident?

It is best to let go of rigid expectations about birth, and stay flexible. Plan and prepare for the waterbirth you want, but allow yourself the luxury of that final decision when the time comes. That way everybody stays flexible and knows that you plan to follow your instincts and do what feels really right to you.

Get in touch with your birth fears and work on diminishing them by gathering information, educating yourself, and developing and trusting your intuition. After all, women’s bodies are made to give birth – your body knows what to do.

Modesty

Some women are not comfortable with nudity. Since we may associate being in a bath with being nude, you might not feel at ease about being in the tub even though you might want a waterbirth. If that’s you – think about wearing a sports bra, tankini-style top, an oversized T-shirt or nightgown in the tub.

Tubs

Our tubs here at BMH are big enough to sit in comfortably and deep enough to come up to armpit level, so you can get buoyant. It takes about ten minutes to get the tubs filled. We keep the water between 95-100 degrees for comfort and safety.

Eating and Drinking

Drink to thirst. Ask your support people to remind you to drink (and to hand you the cup!) while you’re in the tub – you are still sweating, but not noticing it in the water! Most women aren’t very hungry in active labor, but you might enjoy a popsicle or Italian ice. Staying well-hydrated helps reduce the total length of labor.

When to Get into the Tub

Wait until you have a strong desire to get into the water. It’s best to wait until contractions are “well-established” – usually around 5 centimeters dilation, with good contractions every 2-1/2 to 3 minutes. This puts you in the tub when you are most in need of the wonderful pain relief that water gives.

If labor slows down when you are outside the water, try getting in the tub. Be prepared, though – sometimes labor slows down when you are in the water! If that happens, get out and move around a bit. It seems like just changing what you’re doing gets things back on track again.

More Hydrotherapy

Many women are surprised to find that they like the shower very much during labor. The feel and sound of the shower can be very soothing, and the upright positioning helps the baby wend its way down to help you open up.

Labor and Birth Positions

Experiment with a variety of positions in the tub: kneeling, squatting, sitting, lying outstretched are all used, especially during labor. A bath pillow can feel good if you are relaxing outstretched. (Take a look at http://www.lamaze.org/LaborPositions for some ideas for “land labors” and know that many can be adapted for the tub!)

How long does the baby stay under water?

Discuss this with your doctor and midwife ahead of time. Usually the baby is under water for the amount of time it takes mom to take the baby in her arms (called “rapid emersion”). Although you may see videos of newly-born babies swimming under water, remember that the great benefits of waterbirth are achieved as soon as the infant comes into the warm water.

How does the baby breathe?

The baby begins to breathe after its face comes out of the water and its skin and cord come into contact with the cold air. Until then, the baby receives oxygen through the umbilical cord, just as it has through the nine months of pregnancy.

What about the placenta?

Sometimes you’ll be in the tub bonding with your baby, and the placenta will also be delivered in the tub. If the placenta is slow to come, you’ll get out of the tub and back into the birthing bed to deliver the placenta there.

Other things to know

Often the hardest thing about a waterbirth is keeping everybody warm. In that case you may all get moved to the bed with some warm blankets, or the baby may need to go to the warmer in your room for a while. Studies show, however, that there is no need to worry about increased infection rates with waterbirth.

Did you have a waterbirth? We’d love to hear your stories and see your photos! And if you used water as part of your “toolbox” we’d love to hear about that too.

The “serve and return” interaction between parent and baby – in which young children naturally reach out for interaction through babbling, facial expressions, and gestures and adults respond with the same kind of vocalizing and gesturing back at them – builds and strengthens brain architecture and creates a relationship in which the baby’s experiences are affirmed and new abilities are nurtured.

In humans, these experiences begin before your baby is born, as he or she senses and responds to the environment of the womb. This early experience influences the basic architecture of brain circuits that mature at this early stage.

After birth, experience plays an increasingly important role in shaping the brain. It can even change a baby’s genetics! How Early Experiences Get Into the Body:A Biodevelopmental Framework

Babies as young as 4 months are able to distinguish different emotions in adults. Rutgers researchers used the game of peekaboo to act out anger, fear, and sadness for the babies and found that they reacted differently to each one. For example, over the course of the experiment the infants paid more attention in response to anger and avoided looking when sadness was conveyed. “These patterns suggest that the babies are sensitive to the meaning of each expression,” according to Diane Montague, Ph.D., study researcher and currently an assistant professor of psychology at La Salle University in Philadelphia.

The Questions you Answer for your Baby

• Do people respond to me?
• Can I depend on other people when I need them?
• Am I important to others?
• Am I competent?
• How should I behave?
• Do people enjoy being with me?
• What should I be afraid of?
• Is it safe for me to show how I feel?
• What things interest me?

Brain research is also showing us that our babies teach us a lot about how to love, too. When we smile at a baby, the baby’s prefrontal cortex lights up like fireworks. Guess what? When the baby smiles at us, we get fireworks too. That’s probably a part of what makes babies so addictive!

• Play with your baby – use your body to play, too! Cuddling and massaging – silly songs, kisses – all help your baby to be in a state where they are ready to learn about relationships and their own inner world.
• Love on her/him – never be afraid to respond to you baby’s cries and help them get back to a feeling of security.
• Touch – cheek to cheek, massage, “grooming!” are all an important part of being a baby mammal.
• Eye contact – “the window of the soul”! – helps your baby to see how much you love them.
• Show her the world – from the safety of your arms
• Respect who he or she is – help them grow into the person they are uniquely meant to be

Happy Valentine’s Day!

When you hear the words natural birth do you think, “Oh what a martyr”? Or maybe you just wonder why any sane person would put themselves through the pain of childbirth. Yet women give birth without pain relief all around the world every day – some by choice, some because there’s no other choice.

And then there’s things like Orgasmic Birth – really? Could that be true?

Women’s bodies know how to give birth. To deal with the intensity of labor, women need support of many kinds. Here at the Birthing Center, we have lots of women who choose to use a minimum of drugs during their birth.

How do they do it? It can be a very active process. Here are some ways to tap into the body’s own neurophysiologic pathways to reduce pain. It works at home for the stresses and pains of everyday life, as well as the labor that leads to motherhood!

MECHANORECEPTORS respond to touch.

Merkel’s Disks are found on the palms, soles of the feet, and lips.

They respond to steady, maintained pressure, and don’t habituate readily – so these techniques work for a long time. (Habituation means that something only works for a while, because our body gets used to it quickly.) Our use of Merkel’s disks in our lives is one of the reasons we have a tendency to put our hands in a ball, or hold the steering wheel tight, when we are feeling stressed. Maybe it’s even why we compress our lips when we are trying to “hold our tongue!”

• Hold hands
• Stand
• Squeeze a “stress ball”

Meissner’s Corpuscles are found on fingertips and hairless skin.

They respond to textures and light touch.

• Effleurage (fingertip massage of belly) – you often see moms doing this quite mindlessly when they are very pregnant, way before labor begins.
• Move fingertips lightly on sheets – some people also rub their feet back and forth.

Pacinian Corpuscles are found in the deep layers of the skin.

They respond to deep pressure and vibration.

• Deep massage
• Acupressure
• Sitting on a well-filled birthing ball
• Double hip squeezes
• Hand-held shower head beating water on the lower back

Joint Receptors are found in joint capsules, ligaments and synovial membranes throughout the body. They are also slow to habituate.

They respond to movement and hugging!

• Rock in a rocking chair
• Slow dancing and belly dancing
• Pelvic rocking on all fours
• Moving/rocking on a birthing ball

CHEMORECEPTORS

Olfactory: Small fibers in the upper nostrils go to the hypothalamus and limbic system.

• Provide familiar, calming scents: your own pillow, your partner, your favorite Yankee candle, chocolate! (By the way – if you are doing labor support, bring a toothbrush and toothpaste with you. And don’t eat tuna grinders. Moms are often very attuned to smells during labor!)
• Aromatherapy: Jasmine or lavender to relax, rosemary for energy and to clear the mind. When it’s time to push, switch to grapefruit!

Taste: Favorite clear fluids, lollipops, Italian ices, popsicles.

THERMORECEPTORS

Hot and cold receptors are found throughout the skin. Some favorite places to target during labor? The lower back, the shoulders, and under the belly!

• Ice chips
• Cold packs
• Warm showers or baths
• Hot packs

As you can see, just because you didn’t use drugs doesn’t mean you did nothing during labor. You and the people who love you worked hard together!

Whether you’re pregnant (why use up energy in your body during labor? Let your uterus use that energy to make the labor shorter!) or coping with the joys and challenges of a new baby, here’s some things to think about.

You don’t have time to think about stress and how it’s affecting your body? Take a moment to breathe and do a little body tour when you’re driving (the white-knuckle stop at the light? The long drive on the interstate?), or take a few deep breaths as you’re getting ready to go to sleep.

Then take my little quiz here and see what you learn. Relaxation tips are in the future here on Baby Steps!

When I am under tense or under stress,
I feel tension in my

• Head
• Jaws
• Neck
• Shoulders
• Chest
• Stomach
• Back
• Hands
• Feet
• Somewhere else _____________________

My body reacts to tension by

• Sweating
• Heart rate increasing
• Heart pounding
• Difficulty catching breath
• Clammy skin
• Trembling hands or legs
• “Butterflies” in stomach
• Nausea
• Gripping fists
• Itching/scratching
• Pumping top leg when legs crossed
• Biting nails
• Grinding teeth
• Speech difficulties
• Other ____________________

I can recognize signs of tension in my body by _____________________________________

I can prevent tension from overwhelming me by _____________________________________

I use the following calming techniques when needed

• Paced breathing
• Consciously relaxing muscle groups
• Imagery
• Other _______________________

To cope with pain I

• Need quiet to tune into myself
• Need to think about something else
• Need someone to be with me
• Need to talk with someone
• Need to be doing something
• Want help from a medical person
• Want to be alone
• Other _________________________

As you can see, this knowledge is not only useful for labor – it works for lots of things. (I used to get sick for midterms every November – as in respiratory problems. Once I recognized that pattern, I was able to change. You may find this useful too!)

If you deal with pain/tension on a regular basis, or you are looking forward to having a baby soon, be sure you ask your partner to think about these things too. You don’t want them rubbing your shoulders (their place to keep their tension) while you are needing a footrub!

Next time in Baby Steps we’ll take a look at “natural birth” techniques. Sometimes people think it means you do nothing – but it’s usually a very active approach to birth.

• Newborn babies need to be protected from the elements. Dress them in several layers of light clothing to keep them warm. Avoid overheating.
• The rule of thumb for older babies and young children is to dress them in one more layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same situation.
• Blankets, quilts, pillows, sheepskins and other loose bedding may contribute to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and should be kept out of an infant’s sleeping environment. Warm footed pajamas are preferred.
• If a blanket must be used to keep a sleeping infant warm, it should be tucked in around the crib mattress so the infant’s face is less likely to become covered by bedding.

Frostbite

Be vigilant. Your baby will become frostbitten long before you will, partly because infants lose heat from their skin more quickly than adults do (infants have a higher percentage of skin surface compared to body weight).

If you’re carrying your baby, she’s not moving around enough to generate much body heat, either. And unless she’s old enough to talk, she can’t tell you about early symptoms, like a “pins and needles” sensation. So don’t keep her out in the cold for extended periods of time, and bundle her up for those short neighborhood walks or treks to and from the car. Avoid dressing her in clothing or boots that are too tight, because poor circulation can contribute to frostbite.
When you’re outdoors with your baby in cold weather, check her often for signs of frostnip — that telltale whitening of the skin. It usually appears first on the extremities and areas that are most exposed to wind and cold. Check her face, ears, fingers, and toes frequently, even if you think she’s wearing plenty of clothing.

Remove wet clothes (like the mittens she’s been chewing on) immediately, because moisture draws heat away from the skin. (You may want to carry an extra pair of mittens in the winter months, or a pair of socks works great too.)
Be particularly cautious on cold, windy days: Wind makes the skin lose heat faster, which increases the risk of hypothermia and frostbite.

Winter Health

• Many pediatricians feel that bathing two or three times a week is enough for an infant. More frequent baths may dry out the skin, especially during the winter.
• Cold weather does not cause colds or flu. But the viruses that cause colds and flu tend to be more prevalent in the winter. Frequent hand-washing and teaching yourself and your child to sneeze or cough into their elbow and away from others may help reduce the risk of colds and flu.
• Children between the ages of 6 and 23 months are encouraged to get an influenza vaccine to reduce their risk of getting the flu. And encourage family and friends to get one too – stay away if they don’t feel well!

Cold Medicines

• The big message is: DON’T! Don’t use cold medicines for little ones! Even though they are miserable, no research says that Pediacare,Tylenol Cold & Flu or any other OTC medicine will make it better. And with all the recalls lately, it’s better to do something else first.
• Try: Humidifier, saline drops, breastmilk.
• Know that babies may have a hard time feeding when they have stuffy noses. Try the saline drops – even if you just get it near the nares (holes in the nose) and wipe it fast when the mucus is softer, your baby will feel better.

First, a confession. I love to travel. Bus, train, plane, car – sign me up, I’m ready. There was no way I was going to stop going places just because I had kids. So I consider myself a bit of an expert – and now my grandchildren come visit from Alaska! There’s no better feeling in the world than seeing a five year old flying down the corridor at Logan with his eyes and arms wide open, screaming with joy to see you, and yelling, “Noni! We had an adventure!” (That’s after the fourteen hour trip.)

How do you do it, and what are some things that help? Here goes!

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best

As you make reservations, think about what time of day works best for your baby. If  your baby is young enough, most any time of day will be fine – and they are usually pretty happy because you are going to be holding them the entire time! If it’s a long flight, though, and your baby will need to be entertained somehow, think about flying at a time when they’re usually asleep. I always had morning larks and many of our trips were two hours or so in the air – so morning was great. If you know your baby is likely to be unsettled – remember that most of the people on that plane either have had kids, or were once a kid!

Allow time for surprises – Thank goodness you don’t have to go back home for forgotten tickets and boarding passes any more! But something is liable to happen – the parking lot you always park in is full, or there’s road construction. So give yourself plenty of time. Better to sit at the gate with a cup of hot chocolate than to be running towards the gate! (Do remember though that you can get on that plane right up to the time the door closes. If everything falls apart and you’re running towards the gate – you’re probably okay.)

Keep stuff to a minimum – Some websites suggest you bring a ton of “stuff” with you that you might need. Really? Ugh. There’s nothing worse in my mind than schlepping extra stuff through the airport. So pack – check the bag — and pay the $$ – for things you’ll need at your destination. If you’re visiting family, ask them to have diapers (and formula if you use it) waiting for you at your destination. Tuck diapers and wipes into your bag, and a quick change of clothes for the baby and a light top for you, just in case. Most people bring a stroller just so they can use it to push stuff in – but often babies are much happier when you wear them. Bring the easiest stroller you can – when you get to the end of the jetway near the plane they will take it for you and have it waiting when you get to your destination.

Speaking of wearing your baby – this is my favorite TSA statement about traveling with babies:

• Passengers cannot leave babies in an infant carrier and attempt to put it through the X-ray machine. Babies should be carried through a walk through metal detector by a parent or guardian.

Umm – really?  If you have other questions about TSA stuff, don’t fret about it – go to their website and get the real scoop. It’s at http://www.tsa.gov/traveler-information/traveling-children

Breastfeeding on a plane – can be a bit of logistics challenge, depending especially on the size of the baby! If you are traveling with a partner, try choosing seats A and C (or D and F) if you are getting on a six-across plane. The B seats tend to fill last, so you have at least some chance of having a little extra space. (And people in middle seats are always happy to switch for an aisle or window seat if you do get “separated”.) If your baby is fairly little, the window seat can be easy to nurse in, and you can turn towards the window a bit for a feeling of more privacy.  If your baby is big/long, the aisle seat may work better. I had babies that hated being covered with blankets, but I have to tell you I’ve seen moms and babies where I wondered why the baby quieted down so quick – and they were nursing and I couldn’t tell! So don’t be afraid to think through what top you’ll wear and practice ahead of time if “showing” anything makes you nervous. I’m not sure I would announce to strangers what I was going to do – if it’s takeoff, nurse the baby. If it’s touchdown, nurse the baby. If the baby is hungry or upset – nurse. Most people will be glad the baby is quiet and not care how it gets that way. If the baby is flirtatious before and after feeds – let them flirt with your seatmates. Makes life simpler that most people fall in love with our babies because they are so cute!

Just do it! – Once you’ve got your motherlegs, travel is pretty easy in the first 6-8 months. As babies get more mobile, it’s more of a challenge. So enjoy this time of introducing your baby to the wider world! (And I suppose I should add, remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger….)

Do you have other traveling tips? We’d love to hear them! And post pix too, if you’d like.